Being in Love as a State of Being

As a man, it has struck me that women are the heart of mankind. For the most part, they are the nurturers and the ones who stop this whole planet from careening into a total state of destruction. I keep using the word beautiful when I think of them. That has great meaning to men. When women are open, happy, and fluid, they are incredibly beautiful.

So I had to ask myself, “What is the male equivalent?” “What do we as men need to project to attain a similar status?” That seemed more difficult for me to answer, but then I realized that it’s not necessarily the physical beauty itself in women (even though that’s what we visually first see)—it’s the promise of the love and nurturing that emanates forth. That is what men generally feel is “beautiful” in women.

In my attempt to figure out what it is that men must project, I noted we are one species. Therefore, it must be the same thing—and that’s what men also need to do to be on equal footing with women: they must love. A man must become the fullest expression of love and all that it entails. Love is all any of us ever wanted.

The sad part for many of us is that we didn’t come from the kind of families that fostered the kind of safety and freedom to become that loving, for both men and women. Therefore, we must mourn that loss completely and move forward into our own light, finally, now. What makes us all beautiful is love, regardless of what else is happening in our lives.

So I tried this out a few days ago with a patient in mid-life who has very little love in her life. No partner, her cat had died, no one was asking her out, and in fact, she hadn’t had a date in a year. So I asked her if she had any idea why men were no longer asking her out, and she said, “No.” Then I asked her if she felt beautiful, and once again she said, “No,”and began to cry.

At that point, I took a chance and told her that the answer to both questions was because she was not “in love.” Not with any particular man—simply not in love—and that had cost her her beauty. So I asked her to fall in love right here on the spot: with her life, the sunshine, the sky, and all the blessings of her existence, with nothing in particular. I simply asked her to be in love.

Within minutes, it was clearly obvious that she was becoming beautiful again. It was amazing.

We’ve all had the experience of falling in love with someone—at least for a time—and observing other people migrate towards us in attraction. And we’ve all had the thought, “Why doesn’t this happen when I’m alone and have no one?” It’s because the simple state of being in love becomes the major attractant.

In summation, if you wish to be irresistibly attractive, be in love at all times. Remind yourself first thing in the morning, “I am in love.” Repeat this several times throughout the day, and again before you go to sleep at night. You will be amazed by the results and the happiness you bring into your life.